Ideals are what your logical constructs see as an optimal situation or outcome. We all have them. Reality however is composed of many peoples ideas of ideals as well as things that cannot be fully mastered as of yet, for example the universe and its laws of nature.
When your ideals are crushed between realities big fat gnashing teeth you become upset as your projection was wrong. This means that your logical constructs projected an incorrect outcome or situation. When this happens you become upset or frustrated.
It is OK if your idealistic outcomes or situations didn't happen because reality is unchanging and must happen as it happens. For if all of us had our ideals come to light then we would each own our own universe because nobody's points of view are going to match up perfectly because we all have a different nature vs nurture experience in life. This is a good thing. It gives us opportunity to learn and grow. Without it we would never be as strong as we are for ourselves or others.
So when reality comes and smashes into your idealistic outcomes or situations you can be happy in knowing that it is supposed to work this way and that it would be terrible any other way. When these things happen you know that you are existing in a situation that is perfectly designed for an optimal outcome. Enjoy being a part of that experience.
You will be happier and more confident and let loose more because of it which in turn will make you a positively charged hurricane of awesome emotions which people will want to experience which will only further charge your life.