Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Solving relationship or social problems

People are designed with defense mechanisms to prevent ego failure as well as other exploits that could be taken advantage of. So in order to make a point well you must make it their point. To do this you can do some of the following:

Flip the script: ask them how they feel about others doing the things they are doing or similar.

Socratic questioning: Ask them more about their position so it is drawn out plainly to see for them to see that it is just that bogus. In the end they either prove their point well, prove they are wrong to themselves as well as you, or prove that they are insanely dense. If the last situation happens, it is best to not bother with that concept or thing they are talking about as they are using cognative dissonance to resolve the issues they have with it.

Communication and people are bad at it

Communication is an important part about life and many people are bad at it. Many people are also bad at logic and that sort of goes hand in hand.

Here are some situations and how to resolve them:

Situation: Partner yells something in hopes you can respond or understand them from far away or through noises such as a running shower or sink.

Resolution: Tell them that you can't hear them and if they want to talk to you, they come to you.

More situations to come...

White Knights and why they are bad for society

What is a white knight
A white knight is a guy who is trying to stick up for a woman no matter how convoluted or wrong the woman is being. This can be on the internet or in person. They do this in hopes of having sex with the woman they are "standing up for".

What is wrong with this behaviour
This behaviour is a bad enabling personality trait that has caused many relationships to fail and be destroyed. It also makes women feel wierd in that their affections must be earned and when they are given things and they don't return those gestures with affection such as kisses or sex then they are demonized as bad women.

It is theorized by many that the origins of this type of behaviour comes from Disney type movies that show incredibley innacurate female to male dynamics in which the male saves the damsel in distress from some thing and then the male gets her affections as a prize or outcome.

Friday, March 8, 2013

Be Aware of Complex Emotions

A complex or compound emotion (I named it to have a name to refer to) is an emotional set that contains conflicting emotions at the same time or same timeframe.

For instance, you can love and hate someone. You can be wanting to spend your life with someone yet be extremely upset and hesitant to do so because of something they have done or are things they exhibit in their personality or actions. You could be happy to get your dream job but very sad that it is away from your fantastic family. You could be happy for a raise but sad because of the extra stress it exerts on you.

Be aware of these situations. Be aware because they are especially tricky when deciding if  you want to be in a relationship with someone for a long period of time with someone. Marriage is the main focus of the wariness of this article.

Make sure that there is a for sure that someone wants to be with you forever but also that they have no doubts and if there are any that you are able to work them out. DO NOT FORGET THE DOUBTS PART.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Blowing Your Nose - Kleenex VS Toilet Paper

A box of Kleenex isn't cheap compared to toilet paper. Toilet paper holds up better. You don't always need Kleenex but you always will need toilet paper so stocking up on toilet paper is easier and more reasonable than stocking up on Kleenex.

Use TP (Toilet Paper) for your nose blowing needs.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

The Two People Inside You

Most people have two people inside of them. Some have more but that is a different story.

One is the asshole trying to end you and the other one is full of life trying to outrun the asshole trying to end you.

We are all our own worst enemies. Each person you see can be changed into all sorts of personalities. Our bodies aid us but in the end it is just a shell. Our personalities generated from the brain mounted in your skull is what makes you who you are. The decision must be your own what to do with yourself.

You either make it your goal in life to always kick your shitty self to the curb and rise above it and be awesome or you can be crushed under the boot of your asshole self that is trying to end you. I myself don't quite like the depression filled life the second option provides.

When you are feeling down, remember the good times in life and the awesome things you can do and have done. Remember that there is always two people in you and one of you has to outshine the other.

Which person inside of you do you want to win?

Let People Screw Up

When you care about someone you wish to prevent them pain and suffering and wasting their time. You just want them to be happy. You think by preventing them from screwing up that this will make them happy.

You are sadly mistaken.

If you truely care about someone you do this...
  • Weigh the situation and decide if it's petty or not
  • If the situation is petty then do not try to help them and let them do their own thing.
  • If the situation is not petty then tell them you may know how to help them out or just tell them your idea. Do not tell them they are wrong but that it is something that you have found that helps you.
  • If they do not like the idea or don't try it then don't bother them about it.
  • Let them screw up
  • Do not ever tell them, "I told you so" or "Didn't I tell you" or anything similar.
  • Just say something like, "that sucks" or huh. Do not act like an asshole about it
If you bother people with your take on things after they already said no they will resent you. If you were right and things went badly and you tell them that you were right they will resent you. Basically if you act like you know more than them people will resent you.

Offer your advice and then let it sit. Do not push it.

You will lose friends, networking abilities, lovers, etc. if you are a pushy person. It is super annoying and nobody likes it.

One of the friendliest ways to say it is, "Hey I had to deal with this before, would you like some help with it?" or "Hey I had to deal with this before, I found a really cool trick. Want to see it?" If they say no then reply, "Ok" then go about your business.

You can lead a horse to water but you can't force them to drink. If you do then you probably end up drowning them and that isn't your intention.

Let's say you have a child. That child keeps trying to climb on something and you know there is a good chance they will fall. So you keep telling them not to climb on it. In their mind they have no idea what you are talking about. They listen but only momentarily.

The best bet is to tell them once. When you tell them once you gain credibility for when things do happen as you said. Then you let them mess up. After they mess up they will see how bad things suck and teach themselves that it sucked and that you were right. If you tell them you were right they will only hate you. They must trust you on their own. Doing this will give you greater power to teach them in the future.

I had to learn this the extremely hard way. Sometimes you have to let people burn themselves before learning.