Wednesday, September 14, 2011

The Art of Forgetting

Have you ever had something you really wanted to forget but just couldn't? Like a massive breakup, divorce, death, rape, or other life changing event?

You may try the old way of things such as drinking, talking about it with friends, etc. Why don't those things seem to work? Well you see the whole idea about memory is that the more you think, talk about, or do whatever it is you are trying to forget you actually are ingraining more into your memory. That is how we learn. Everything pretty much is learned. So by thinking about or talking about the thing you are trying to forget about you are actually going to think and remember it more vividly.
So that sucks right? I have been through a divorce. At an early age in fact. I have always tried to figure out why we do things and how to make things better. So an old wise boss...without really trying to showed me what to do. Yes I did the hang out with coworkers thing. I didn't talk to them about it though. That was the trick.

By talking to people about your problem you are just coping. Getting used to the massive *crapitude of your life change. This is what some people call "desensitization". It's what happens when you do an event or perceive an event so many times it no longer matters to you much. Sort of like if you fail at hitting on girls you eventually don't care that you are failing thus gain confidence and then fail less by having confidence...but that's a different story.
*(hell ya I made up that word...what you going to do about it? Call the grammar police?)

So talking about the problem helps...if you want a ton of pain. OR... You could go with the Art of Forgetting.

Forgetting is not an activity, it is a by product of being active and collecting new memories. By collecting new memories you are coating over the crappy one you are trying to forget.

While you are doing the activity you are also pushing the thought out of the way because your brain is processing the current active events. Such as video games take concentration thus not allowing your painful memory or thought to get in your face.

This also is a method of desensitization by allowing your brain to process it somewhere not so in your face where it will make you sad and or pissed.

So let's review...

Forgetting is a byproduct
Doing active events
Desensitize, degrade importance/cope, forget at the moment of the activities.

So next time somebody breaks up with you don't freak out...well as much. Cope, deal with it like a human. Don't go get trashed...well that is an activity but don't do it to drown your sorrows do it for fun. Go have fun and keep yourself occupied and you will soon not be so hurt as you were before.

Got yourself down about yourself? Stop thinking crappy things start thinking good things about yourself, life events, things you can do, things you want to do, improve yourself to keep yourself busy. Just stop acting like you are the only one that hates themselves. We all have at one point. We get over it by doing new things and forgetting the old things in effect of doing those new things.

ENJOY LIFE...IT WAS FREE!!! Oh and you know that free will? What a sweet gift, use it. Don't be others carpets.

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